Bye! 12. r/Unexpected. Harriette Winslow: And you meant every word 8 years ago. Harriette Winslow: [grabbing Carl's hair] Carl [Takes her hand away, looking at it before placing it on top of his head instead]. Harriette Winslow: What a miserable evening. Let eserviate on the bright side. Maxine Johnson: Ooh Laura, you look good. Harriette Winslow: Oh no no no. "Take out the trash, Edward." Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. Carl Otis Winslow: Society places too much emphasis on being thin. Then, you broke my car, and it cost me every cent I got to fix it and rent this "delightful" room here at the "Fleabag Inn". Three times X equals six. Laura: Remember when you tried to teach me how to sew? Clean up your room Edward. It is not empty at all. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How'd that happen? Edward! One minute, "Moo!" Steve Urkel: I've never tried out for athletics before and the equipment list says that every guy should wear a cup. It's not fair. Aunt Oona: Well not good, my kitchen exploded. You know what? Willie Fuffner: [sigh] That's different. Carl Otis Winslow: [More excitedly] Yes, ma'am! Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I was steamed, I didn't want to do something I'll regret. Rachel Crawford: Oh. Can you carry me home? Ms. Steuben: Yeah, well Steven, you're not taking Home Ec. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Yup. [Urkelbot throws robber into a pile of soupcans]. [Faces Eddie] Look at him, charming, handsome, popular. Laura: Waldo, what's with Steve, he's acting wierd, even for him! Laura: You know, I just don't get why people are so afraid of our history. I've been there a 100 times, but this time was different. Harriette Winslow: She's still pretty upset, she wouldn't even touch her dinner. Waldo: [pause] Wow! Steve Urkel: Danger's my middle name! It's like wanting to touch a star- you know you'll never reach it but you've just gotta keep trying. No. Ms. Steuben: Uh, excuse us just a minute. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I mean every word, sweetheart. Harriette Winslow: Harsh? Laura Lee Winslow: [in tears] Daddy, everything's a mess! Steve is the perfect son. Carl Otis Winslow: I'll get that, you must be having a rough day. Rodney Beckett: YOU thought you were smart? Steve Urkel: That's because you don't know what it's like being small. I wouldn't know what to charge. This is fantastic! [Carl has just gotten wind of Eddie's plans to have a flier party. No more chimes. Just as I thought. [skips away from Stefan and Myra towards the elevator. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Hey dad. Carl, Eddie: [after Carl gets shocked from the electrical current] STEVE! [reading] "Mongu! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What're you so happy about? Cop: You two are going to juvenile hall until your parents pick you up. I'll grab my stuff and I'll be out of here tomorrow. Steve Urkel: Really? Steve Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [under laughing gas, laughing] I just realized, your name is Doctor Smiley. Harriette Winslow: Laura, you've had your head in those books all morning, got a big test coming up? Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room! On the way to the Sizzle Club, I took a little detour to the precinct. Laura Lee Winslow: Then she demanded her money back when she found out that she modeled ladies underwear. aries: "You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied. [Carl is appalled as he has a donut in his mouth], [Carl has just bought Harriette an exercise trampoline for her birthday. I just wish it would all go away, Daddy. I'm a person, and I have feelings, and I demand to be treated with respect and dignity! Waldo: Laura, I know I'm just wasting my time, but would you like to kinda, maybe go out with me, sorta, tomorrow night, maybe? Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: [is chased and hides behind a jock] Hold me back, hold me back. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [seeing what Laura looks like without sleep] You remind me of a movie star. Rachel Crawford: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Laura: Look, I owe you an apology. Laura: [as Steve walks he sobs and cries on Laura's shoulder] What's the matter baby, did you eat some bad cheese again? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait Wait. Richie Crawford: We're going to play with these toys for 30 days and return them, like Uncle Carl's going to do with his peanut helmet. I'm wearin' you down baby, I'm wearin' you DOWWWWNN! Carl Otis Winslow: That's wonderful, son. Can't see a darn thing. She actually said, "Human Being". Laura: She didn't need a hairstylist, she needs a fairy godmother! And you taught Cassie Lynn Nubbles, the posterchild for useless people, how to do things for herself. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Chondra in the bar about Maxine] Aww, yeah, she's a sweetheart but if she caught us in here together she'd rip off your arm and beat me with it. That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! Chocum hi chip chok!". He acts like a gangster, gangsters hate cops. Steve Urkel: Oh, I'm not joking. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Well, how did you miss it? Then, I drove you here in *my* car, and were you pleasant company? Steve Urkel: Then your nasal passages swell and your nose and throat slam shut tighter than a clam. Steve Urkel: Don't feel bad. Would you reward me with a kiss? From 1989 to 1998 (via IMDb ), White . All you'll hear from me is an occasional, 'Mmmhmm, that's right.'. Harriette Winslow: Oh lord. Rachel Crawford: Steve, did it ever occur to you that when the door is closed we're trying to keep unwanted people out? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: It was Jan Matzeliger, in 1883. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I couldn't even go in. Wha? Steve Urkel: No, it's not okay! Remember last year when she bought that date with the retired underwear model. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel. What's up? Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: That's what I said, but Dad still said no. Harriette: [still unsympathetic towards Eddie's selfishess] Fair? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, suppose I arrange for you to meet Johnny Gill personally. Carl Otis Winslow: I do not care what other people think. Steve Urkel: [Steve is still wasted] Ooh the Durkel! Robbins: Hey everyone, Laura Winslow's date is Steve Urkel. Judy Winslow: Who wants to read about cheese? Laura Lee Winslow: How fast are we going now? You see, I use verbs. [Steve is in the kitchen recovering from Laura and her sock stuffed b*obs. Was I about to take the Big Sleep? I wanna take it home and read it to my mom. Carl Otis Winslow: I told him I was taking him over to see you. [Carl steps in the chamber and Stefan starts it up]. Steve Urkel: Oh great! Carl Otis Winslow: Well there's no rush. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Waldo heads into the kitchen as Steve emerges] You o.k., Eddo? Forget it, Steve. Waldo: Excuse me, but I don't wanna hear about a bug's sex life. Rachel Crawford: Good. Ms. Steuben: Get a hold of yourself, Steven. [leaves]. I wanna read it to my mom. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl hasn't moved that fast since he chased a doughnut down hill. Stupid? He woke me up too. The valet gave me a tip. Willie Fuffner: [Wipes his own mouth] Thank you. Getting you to smile would be like pulling teeth! Carl: [in his regular voice] I have no idea. 1. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: How did she die? Daniel Wallace: Hey, man. Steve Urkel: Oh, I see. Eddie: As a starting forward of the school team, it's my duty to play round ball not nerd ball. Did you know an African American helped design the blueprint for Washington, D.C.? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to Officer Wigglesworth as played by Carl] We're on the same side of the law. Urkelbot: [Joe Friday Impression] Just the facts, ma'am. You're wrong, the maitre'd gave me a two for one coupon. You don't want to get fried. When you make a mistake, fess up to it. It's a beautiful language. Eddie: Did Halle Berry return my phone call? Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem. Doo da doo da. He opted ofr early retirement. They just love juicy gossip. He's fanning his hace with a plate as Eddie walks in]. Laura Lee Winslow: What you did for me tonight was really special. Steve Urkel: [after discovering that the stereo in Eddie's car has had its serial number scratched off] Uh-uh. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Wow. You think she'll really kiss Steve? Actor Jaleel White remembers his starring role on the '90s hit sitcom "Family Matters." Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [to Laura] Sugar, I realize you're having a hard time, but you've got to stand up for whatever you believe in, or things will never change. Carl Otis Winslow: [to the racist cop who pulled Eddie over] You know, I don't know how that badge stays up, because it's pinned to sludge. Rachel Crawford: Exactly what were Eddie's instructions? Carl Otis Winslow: Why not try the truth! Steve looks at Laura], [At The Winslow home in the alternate world]. Steve Urkel: Sh-she touched me, Carl! I was on the bus on the way to day camp when all of a sudden my eyes started to water and I started coughing up all this green stuff. I almost went to the movies with Vicky Vanderfanny. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll miss Waldo. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Ok, you talked me into it. 6. Self respect. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: We took in $2,000 dad and we want you to have it. Steve Urkel: Could. Lt. Murtaugh: Keep the pace, Mr. Backwards Hat! Steve Urkel: [thinking he's playing hide and seek with Laura, Eddie, & Judy and a shower starts running] That shower running doesn't fool me Laura! Eddie: [after he has heard her quickly renouncing her love for him] Myrtle, what's my life going to be like without you in it? Steve Urkel: Well, Laura, do you realize what you're asking? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Every day for 6 months. A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. But, like they say in the movie "Love Story" 'Love means never having to say I'm sorry Steve, but I'm takin' yo chick'. Carl Otis Winslow: Well I talked to your boy Squeeze and he won't be bothering you for a long time. This isn't right Weasel. Carl: Maybe you can even resurrect your band. My head pops out! Should I be getting some Handi-Wipes? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Myra, your mother told me you came here, so I assumed you're becoming a nun. We've got cheerleaders taller than him. Some of our pickup lines are real-life applicable. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yes sir. "Tomorrow Dad!" Do these guys have game? You have the right to remain silent. Harriette Winslow: You have to understand, back in Detroit where he's from, the police are considered the enemy, so he doesn't trust them. [the half nerd side of Carl goes into the anatomy of worms. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well for one thing, I can't feel my toes. Rachel Crawford: Thanks Steve. I can't live like this. Steve Urkel: [after discovering that the stereo in Eddie's car has had its serial number scratched off] Uh-uh. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey sweetheart, how about some pie? And even then I knew it wasn't right. Now, what you do on your own time is your business. Carl Otis Winslow: Well Harriette, what are those people teaching down at that school? Steve Urkel: Uh-oh, Mr.Frostbite. Willie Fuffner: [Grabs Steves gloves] Urkel, you are dead meat! Once, I found them in Milwaukee living under an assumed name! Carl: Maybe I should laugh a little bit more, huh? Remember you wished that Steve could find out what's it like to be you. Rachel Crawford: [to Harriette] He's not gonna make him quack. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Hey Steve, Was'sup? It seems the guy that you purchased your stereo equipment from didn't want you to fill in any paper work. [stares at the racist cop] Black. Harriette Winslow: Are your parents happy with the new you? Steve Urkel: Oh, please, Laura. [Comes in the lving room with Mother Winslow as Eddie is taking his frustrations out on his sack of dirty laundry because Carl has just taken Waldo to the Chicago Bulls game instead of him]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What kind of plans? We're getting dirty looks from old people! Steven Quincy Urkel: I will *not* sleep in the bathtub! Bushwhacker Luke: Me mother was arrested by cops last night! Carl Otis Winslow: But, apparently you seem want to learn it the hard way, well so be it. Suppose I made it happen. Steve Urkel: Oh, Gosh golly, Jeepers Creepers. Waldo: Cheating it wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. My mom's the one who really messed up. Laura: Ma, the package said to cook it at 275 for 20 minutes. [goes to the refrigerator] No root beer? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That stinks. Steve pits eight guys against each other in the battle for the best pickup lines. Waldo: I can't talk to girls. Carl, someone parked their own piece of junk in our driveway. Steve Urkel: Oh, I am so glad you said that! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why are you upset, Waldo? Rodney Beckett: I'm Rodney, but my friends call me Rod-meister. Carl Otis Winslow: Thanks for the present son. [Puts his jacket on and heads to the Door], Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I may get F's, but, by God, I earn them! There's no justification for this behavior! Make my day! Steve Urkel: Ssssh, not while I'm pouring. Steve Urkel: Ready, my sweet? And believe you me, I know what being different is all about. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Was I ever! Boyd broke my glasses. [Steve and Carl are playing Gin Rummy when an infuriated, Eddie and Laura come into the house.]. ", Harriette Winslow: She looked at me with tears in her eyes, and she said "Why, Mom?". He held operations in Chicago. I have feelings. I'm not your personal doormat. For that matter why isn't everybody? Donna Santangelo: And get this, Urkel's tuxedo fits! Steve Urkel: Yeah, but now I have an excuse. Steve Urkel: Ms Steuben, you taught Laura to slow down and stop taking short cuts. Waldo Geraldo Faldo, Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Cheating? Steve Urkel: I had my first allergy attack when I was nine. And instead of admitting to it, you got yourself involved in gambling. He's having the same discussion with his father. Judge Vance: All right, young man, call your first witness. Carl Otis Winslow: Laura, what's going on in here? Eddo. [smiles]. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, they applauded when we left. The truth is you deserve a kiss. This has never happened before. He's a very large man who should be here any minute now. Steve Urkel: Calm down? I want more Punch! I'm going home! Someday, I'll thank myself for this. Steve is clumsy and obsessive yet charismatic and likable. Steve Urkel: To be quite honest, Fuffner; I'd written you off as being incorrigible. Harriette Winslow: Before you stormed out of the house, I forgot to mention to you that I called OGD's Grandmother back in Detroit. Harriette Winslow: Well, Eddie said something came up, but he promised he'd empty the trash tomorrow. Laura and Judy, divide up the rest between Barbie doll fans and Lego lovers and get them upstairs too! sharepoint email a link is not opening in outlook,